Dreams & Delusions…

Archive for March, 2015

Hostage

Sometimes,
My body hurts
So intensely
That any stress
Makes me feel like
I’m being pulled apart…
Please forgive
My inability
To express
How I feel
In my heart…
The longing
Is still there,
Even when
The words are not.
I may be quiet,
But you’re still
On my mind,
In my heart…   
I never forgot.


Forgetting Mechanism

I think maybe my mind is broken.
I see everyone letting go, forgetting,
And I can’t help but wonder,
Why I always remember…
I can’t forget when I want to.
I can block thoughts or feelings,
But they always return…
Is there a specific mechanism
For forgetting?
Because, I think, mine is broken.

~Antanya

 

I always remember, because I never forget.


When the Longing Meets the Dream

The ache
In my body
Never matches
The ache
In my heart-
The dream
In my head
Never matches
The dream
In my soul-
When the longing
Meets the dream
Like You and I  
We’ll stay, 
We’ll be whole.  
It comforts me
When your heart
Whispers to my soul,
When your spirit
Kisses my heart
I know there will be
A timeline where
We are one,
No longer apart.


Dreaming Again

I  had strange dreams last night,
And I woke with a dangerous hope,
Though I had not dreamed of you,
I had dreamed again, and that-
That made me smile,
For, if I am dreaming again-
I’m bound to find you, 
I hope you are reaching, too.

~Antanya


Anything

Drifting-
It seems we are always drifting…
Towards each other,
Away from others,
Then away from each other again…
Do you know what I would give
For you to hold firmly,
For a chance to rest
Against your chest?
Anything. I would give everything
To be the one you love best.

~Antanya


Quandary of Words and Meaning

I miss your laugh,
I wish I could see your smile…
Yeah, I know how it is,
It’s been a long while…
If I could talk to you,
I don’t know what I’d say,
Except-
I miss you,
I love you,
I think of you each day…
It’s more than that, though…
Words won’t assemble into
The right phrases, or sentences,
Or paragraphs, or essays
To express this urgent need,
Quite the quandary, indeed…

~Antanya


In the Worst Way

I’ve always had some
Kind of awkward loneliness
About me-
People smile and hug me,
But seldom do they truly touch
My core, my soul.
Why is it that the ones who do
Are never comfortable
With staying so close?
Don’t you see-
How your presence comforts me?
But, then you are pulling away,
And I’m alone,
Lonely, in the worst way.
While you run away,
Off to your life-
Forever on the edge of mine.

~Antanya