Dreams & Delusions…

Archive for June, 2014

Summer Rain

Water tinkling,
Slapping
Singing
Drumming…
The rain
Plays
My favorite
Song.

~Antanya

Advertisements

Regardless

Running from you
Has me falling down dark holes
And stumbling in spirals
That wind tight around me-
I can’t breathe in these depths of me,
My mind emitting silent screams
As I fall victim to my own disease…

Trying not to love you
Is like walking off a broken foot-
I step, I scream…
I struggle, just to dream…
Do you feel this, too?
Regardless, I still hold onto you.

~Antanya


What happens?

What happens
When sweet dreams
Become bitter?
When the glow fades
And leaves us,
Pale and sallow?
What happens
When we can’t remember
The sound of each other’s voices:
The silly laughter,
The quiet knowing,
The passionate moans?
What happens?
Do we forget?
Do you want to?


Love, Reassembled

Every time these strings fray,
Every time pieces fly,
I feel pulled away,
My eyes watching the sky…
I break apart, reassemble…
You touch my heart, fingers tremble…
Shaky, weak hands try to hold
All that protects me from cold.

My spirit awakens, I am alive!
My core has been shaken, but I’ll survive.
I’ve got you on my side,
These waves break as we ride…
We’re survivors, we hold together…
We’ll make it through, despite the weather.
~Antanya


Hold On

Those of us who have known sorrow
Hold on to happiness,
Keep it protected,
Not just to borrow…
We tie it to our hearts,
To shine through the darkness,
To comfort those we hold apart.

If I hand you my joy,
Would you run with it?
Or would you bring it back,
Smile, hold me, and sit?

I’ve known many kinds of love,
They’ve come from below or from up above,
But this doesn’t change.
Over all the years,
After all the tears,
Pushing through these fears…

Holding on
Isn’t a bad thing,
Or, so my heart tells me…
My heart loves you,
My brain hates our reality.
I want you to be happy,
To live, to love, to feel serenity.
Even if that puts you nowhere near me.
I’d wait for an eternity…
Just to see you smile…
Just to hold you for a while…

 

~Antanya


Twisted Fate

I feel selfish and sick today,
But I will carry on, anyway…
Sometimes I second-guess my love for you,
That is foolish, I know it’s true…
But, realize, please,
This is hard for me…
My guilty conscience makes it hard to see
That these feelings
Are just me, being me…
That I still love you, completely.
I feel raw and torn,
My body is sore and worn.
I’m still fighting, every day.
In every possible fucking way!
Some day I will be able to show
Everything I want you to know,
But, for now, I wait,
Holding the hand of my twisted fate…

~Antanya


Pandora’s Curse

Memories hung from our hearts,
Growing fonder, as we wonder…
Like a display of our inner parts,
We pull each other under…
There are places within,
Where others shouldn’t be…
I’m aware that I let you in
To the innermost part of me…

When my strength is spent,
I can’t block these images of you.
I’m wondering where my resolve went,
Wondering what I can do,
To be happy and whole.
To love and live,
With this hole in my soul…
Without having to pay
This goddamned toll…

I’m starting to think
I’m not meant to,
That really, my heart
Will always be tied to you.
Holding on eternally,
To something,
someone I remember…
Maybe,
it’s just me…
Maybe,
I’m just crazy…

Maybe,

Pandora’s curse is inside me…

 

~Antanya