Dreams & Delusions…

Archive for February, 2015

Mirror of Equinox

I’m tired of rest,
I’m ready to give my best-
My pain is not me.
No more struggling for breath
Or contemplating death-
My illness is not me.
I condemn the mirror,
Won’t give into the horror-
My body is not me.
I won’t allow myself to sink,
No drowning in ink-
My mind is not me.
I’m opening to light,
Where love finds sight-
My heart is me.
Taking the opportunity,
Open to possibility-
My soul is me.
Holding you dear,
Love keeps you near-
My love is me.
When we break away from fear,
We come together here-
You are me.

~Antanya

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You Say…

This really resonated with me… ❤

loveletterstoaghost

You say my name
like it matters,
like it means something
more than me,
like it’s beauty
tied to hope.

And that’s lovely, isn’t it?

I wonder how you would say it
if you knew the caverns
carved in my heart
or the dirt I shoveled into them.
Would my name
roll off your tongue
like the dark
and desecrated pieces
that I am
or would you still think
it’s beautiful?

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Dichotomy

Within me-  
There is a dichotomy
Between needing
You to love me
The same way
I love you
And needing
You not to hurt
The way I do…

It’s impossible- 
How it still  
Comforts my heart,
Constricts my throat
To imagine you
Thinking of me…
I’d rather face it
Together than apart,
But, where do we start?

~Antanya


Tell Me Something Beautiful

I felt this one to my core… Nice work, BB.

The Migraine Chronicles

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Tell me something beautiful
Something I need to hear
I can’t breathe right now
Not without you near

Tell me something beautiful
Something that I can feel
My lungs can’t take pressure
I need to know you’re real

Tell me something beautiful
The darkness covers me
Tell me that the light remains
So maybe I can see

Tell me something beautiful
You know I’m fading fast
Please tell me something beautiful
Why do you make me ask

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Grey (Void)

Grey.
There is no
Light or dark,
Black or white,
Here.
There is only me
And my uncertain fear.
Hope is like a memory
That feels locked in periphery…
I feel traces of you, still…
Like smoke in the air,
Like soot on my skin,
Ashes in the water.
You’ve infiltrated
My inner void,
There is no empty,
When you still fill me.
There is no peace
From the call,
There is no break
For the fall.
I feel so lonely,
Disconnected
From it all…
Grey.
There is no
Light or dark,
Black or white,
Here.
There is only me
And my uncertain fear…

~Antanya


Silently Vulnerable

The silence
Slices, slashes
Rents in steel armor
Exposing vulnerability
I don’t mean to hide,
I need you to come find me…

 

~Antanya


Darkroom Lighting Adjustment

This is so beautiful… ❤

Sophisticating the Rudimentary

He glimpsed in her the possibility of an unwavering light; the constant, overpowering source of life that allows nothing dark to stay without an interrogation proving its validity. She, for a moment, caught sight of a hidden trove of underexposed prints in the darkroom of his soul, and with her assuring smile, replaced the gloomy incandesce of the reddish hue that had until then glowed in that place within him with a brilliance of illumination. The change in lighting caused him  a temporary blindness, feeling at once thrilled with the temporary disappearance of the darkroom fears and a frightening sensation of what her reaction would be when she saw what was hiding in wait. As his eyes adjusted to the light she brought to the contrasted dark of his life, he realized what she had been doing while his sight was lost. The illumination she cast into the darkroom…

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