Dreams & Delusions…

Posts tagged “Separation

Our Place

​Some nights,

Laying in the dark-
I can feel you reaching,
Your warmth caressing,
Sharing the same space,
Our place we have made-
In the midnight dark,
My soul longs,
And my heart aches-
Still torn apart.

~Antanya


Widowmaker

Nearly brushing a widowmaker
With my cheek
Can’t stop the rushing shiver
When I recognize the longing to connect
Redwood splitting through sinew
Bashing, brutalizing, breaking bone
Completing the separation
Soul from body
No tether
Only freedom
Ethereal eternity…
I shiver,
Shake a little,
Remember my loved ones,
Walk home…

~Antanya


Cold Wall

Sometimes, when I am cold,
I trace the cracks in the wall between us…
I lay my cheek against rough stone
Eroded from so many years of-
Our pounding,
Our screaming,
Our scratching…
I imagine myself changing state,
Seeping through the tiny cracks
Only to meet your skin,
To touch your warmth,
To not feel alone…
I feel you on the other side,
I know you are hurting too,
And I want to (need to) be against you,
Not this cold wall.
My cold turns wet and lonely,
Soaked in tears I can’t shed.
Shivering, hugging myself in the corner
Inside my head.

~Antanya


Skin Distance

Being next to you
Would never do…
You see,
Skin would separate
You from me,
Leave us apart
From who WE are…
Impossibly far.
Just enough room
For doubt,
In or out,
With or without
You…

~Antanya


Insignificant

When the ache
Becomes physical-
My chest stings and burns,
My heart sings and yearns…
The hot tears feel strange to me,
The yearning slaughters the anxiety.
The only fear I can feel
Are voices screaming you’re not real…
I don’t even know
If you want me to stay,
I still love you,
Still think of you anyway…
I wish I could tell you,
But-
I don’t know what to say,
Or if it would make a difference, anyway…

~Antanya

…You can’t stop the pain

You won’t say the words…


Dichotomy

Within me-  
There is a dichotomy
Between needing
You to love me
The same way
I love you
And needing
You not to hurt
The way I do…

It’s impossible- 
How it still  
Comforts my heart,
Constricts my throat
To imagine you
Thinking of me…
I’d rather face it
Together than apart,
But, where do we start?

~Antanya