Dreams & Delusions…

Archive for April, 2015

Please- To: Whom it may Concern

I’ll give up my pride
For a moment of peace,
But you damage my mind
With far too much ease.
I know I shouldn’t let it slide,
But I need the pain to release…
Please,
See what you’re doing to your wife-
What you are doing to our life…
Before you end up alone, in strife.
~Antanya


Beautiful things

This is simply beautiful.

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All the most beautiful things are pulled from the ground.

All the most beautiful things are made in a fire.

All the most beautiful things are hit again and again.

All the most beautiful things are shaped with hard hands.

Nothing about you is ugly.

You are made of the most beautiful things.

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Unchained

   1201652-bigthumbnail I’m not like
The ones who chained me
And I’m not tame,
But can you blame me?

chained angel-blue and purple
These bonds have chafed me,
My arms are weakened and bruised,
But I won’t let my soul be used.

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I feel my strength coming back to me,
In love and wisdom, flowing free…

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My sword still bright,
Glinting in starlight-
I find my mark,
Dancing, Slicing, Stabbing
Through the dark…

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~Antanya


MMMmmm

MMMmmm, I am in love… 😉


Morning Dream

Light is filtering through the inky blue curtains,
And I am halfway awake, still in a dream daze…
Snuggled deep and warm in pillows and blankets.
I close my eyes to embrace waking slowly, and you are there…

I feel your warm breath…
On my shoulder,
Up my neck,
And into my ear…
A chill runs through me, as I feel your finger trace
Down the naked curve of my spine, and settle,
Cupping your hand around my ass and squeezing…

Your other hand is stroking my hair,
Caressing my neck,
Moving down to cup my breast,
I whimper, as you squeeze me
Gently, but firmly, in your strong hands…
You pull me so close, I can feel your heart pound against my spine.

My blood is ice and fire,
I am consumed
In desire,
In passion,
In need…
I wonder if you feel the same, will you to whisper my name…
I growl in need, my hunger screams to feed…

…But, then I hear the creak of my son’s door,
The pitter-patter of his feet on the floor,
Then, “Hi, mommy”, and my focus snaps to,
I’m forced to put away my fantasies of you…
But, if you asked if I still daydream of you,
I’d smile, and shyly reply, “I do.”…

~Antanya


Thanking Mother Nature

earth-without-art-is-just-eh-791x1024Have you ever been inspired?
Truly awed by what has transpired?
Have you stopped to thank the source?
I mean Mother Nature, of course…
For without her loving, graceful hand,
There would be no sky, no sea, no land.
When you truly see, you’ll understand
How our very existence is truly grand!
Some dwell on being hurtful and hateful,
I’d prefer to be graceful and grateful.
Our time allowed here is not very long,
So we keep filling it with poetry and song…
Happy Earth Day!

~Antanya


Obsession is not Devotion

Sometimes,
When people
“Want the best”
For me,
is when I least
Want their company.
Yeah, I heard you,
“I’m only doing this
Because I love you”
But, what you really mean is-
“Do this, because I love you”
They are not the same.
One is an expression of care,
The other is manipulation to soothe
Your conscience.
I am not an object, I feel real emotions.
Please, don’t disguise your obsession as devotion.

~Antanya


Trip

We experiment with chemicals
Like we are alchemists,
But it’s gonna take a lot more
Than a few tabs to turn us to gold.
If we can’t have what we want,
Will we keep intensifying the dreams
Until they carry us away?
Maybe that’s where we need to be-
Where we can lose our limits,
And feel free…
When you feel ready to swim,
Dive into Love’s sensory sea-
You’ll never be alone,
As long as there’s me.

~Antanya


You Want to Know?

I still remember
When I first realized
I had let you in…
It scared me
How quickly you broke in.
I fell in love with your determination,
And I hoped that would stay,
That you would be the one
To see me,
The real me,
not the me everyone knows…
The parts of me that scream,
That struggle for freedom,
Even as I clamp them back shut…
But, you lost interest,
and I’m still lost.
Some people say they want in,
But, aren’t willing to pay the cost.
Let me see you,
If you want to know the truth.
I’ll show you mine,
After you cross that line.
Anything else,
Is wasting our time…

~Antanya


Unexpressed

Words are fuckers, sometimes…
When all I want is to express
This desirous need in excess,
The words won’t assemble to confess-
My aching heart drowns in loneliness.

~Antanya


Mother

I’m not sorry.
I don’t believe the way you taught.  
Don’t plead, don’t try to convince me,
Your shock is lost on me, for naught…
For I am me,
I have my own eyes to see…
And we see the world differently.
I don’t resent your choice,
Though I won’t believe the same…
You helped me find my voice,
Now let ME define my name.

~Antanya


Fiacha

I hear you, Fiacha…
Your swelling cries,
Your insistent clicks,
Cawing in frustration…
I’m truly sorry-
My heart speaks raven,
Though my tongue cannot…

~Antanya

I had a raven follow me for a while on my walk, today.  I swear, he was trying to tell me something…


Celestial Love

New galaxies
Are forming
In my universe,
Celestial clouds of wonder-    
…And in my awe,
I’m inspired to action, 
To live, to love
The beauty within,
Let me stay hidden
In your beautiful heart
Until you see,           
Until I sink in…
Until we are whole,
One heart-
One soul.

~Antanya


Conspiring

My body
And my mind
Are both conspiring
To kill me.
I’m afraid
I don’t know
Who is winning…
Maybe I don’t want to know…

~Antanya

image


Rain Down On Me

Indeed… ❤

The Migraine Chronicles

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Let it rain down on me

the hail, the thunder, the lightning

bring the storm

in all it’s beauty

let the winds swirl

magnify around me

let the glory of nature

rain down on me

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Never Warm

I’m listening to the rhythm
Of the rain splattering outside,
Watching the drops fall steadily…
I’m cold-
In a way that blankets cannot remedy,
However warm,
They are not your arms.
(I’m afraid I’ll never be warm.)

~Antanya


Trapped

Only you
Can set me free,
But you seem
More comfortable
Haunting me…

There is something
That is horrible,
Sad,
But true
In the way
My heart
Keeps screaming out
For you…

I’m not blind,
I’m trapped
In an infinite bind
Between my heart
And my mind.

~Antanya