Dreams & Delusions…

Posts tagged “Dreams

Delusion/Clarity

I love myself,

And I don’t feel

Lonely…

I start to feel

Like I can function,

Like I have healed…

Then my subconscious

Sabotages me.

I dream all sorts

Of strange and mesmerizing

Dreams,

And they are all about you…

When I wake,

I am devastated.

I do not sob and whimper

Like I used to,

But my heart aches,

My head hurts,

My body throbs…

Like the day you told me

You did not love me,

That I was a stranger,

When I thought…

I thought you,

You were the only one who saw

Me…

I love myself,

And I don’t feel

Lonely…

I miss you

And the delusion

That you loved me.

~Antanya


Fall(ing Forever)

I keep wondering
What would make anyone
F
A
L
L
For a heart so broken,
A mind,
So
C
  L
U
    S
T
      E
R

        F
U
          C
K
            E
D,

Do you
     S
        P
    I
R
  A
     L
In the same space?
Is that why
I keep dreaming of you
In this place?
Why I keep finding
F
    L
A
    S
H
    E
S,

T
  R
     A
          C
              E
                    S
Of your face,

F
A
L
L
I
N
G

Into place.

We run,
Though we can never erase…
Haunted,
Always longing,
Locked in
Ethereal embrace.

~Antanya


Reality/Visualized Dreams (Wordless Wednesday)

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Did you drift with me?  ; )
Thanks for playing along…
~Antanya


Fuck my Loneliness

How can I be so attached
To what I’ve never had?
The spirals of questions,
Unanswered
Surely driving me mad…
Tease me
With what I need,
Then leave me
Crawling, begging, grieving
My own greed…
Why engage these games?
When we both
Whisper each other’s names…
Do we?  Do you?…
I don’t even know
If this makes sense to you…
So, I keep it to myself
Because I’m not sure
You can help…
Even though
My dreams of you
Always do…

~Antanya


On Love/Passion

It’s only real if it frightens you…

Natural Energy Convergence

Natural Energy Convergence- by Antanya

~Antanya


Intimately Close

When I am away
From the world,
I feel closer to you…
My dreams filled
With intimate touches,
Passionate kisses,
I fall into the beauty of us,
In the intensity of you…
As I wake to birdsong and sun,
I still feel the trace of your lips,
Still feel you holding me…
It makes me want to stay forever,
To dream of you, always…

~Antanya


When the Longing Meets the Dream

The ache
In my body
Never matches
The ache
In my heart-
The dream
In my head
Never matches
The dream
In my soul-
When the longing
Meets the dream
Like You and I  
We’ll stay, 
We’ll be whole.  
It comforts me
When your heart
Whispers to my soul,
When your spirit
Kisses my heart
I know there will be
A timeline where
We are one,
No longer apart.


Dreaming Again

I  had strange dreams last night,
And I woke with a dangerous hope,
Though I had not dreamed of you,
I had dreamed again, and that-
That made me smile,
For, if I am dreaming again-
I’m bound to find you, 
I hope you are reaching, too.

~Antanya


Determination

Spiritual spark-
To start the ignition
Perpetual dark-
To steel this condition
I feel the energy-
Flowing in my blood
I sense the synergy-
Rushing with the flood
Yearning to shout-
Searching around
Burning the doubt-
Scorching the ground
You still light the fire within-
I still fight, still won’t give in…

~Antanya


Who Needs Opiates? (I Have Dreams)

I caught a glimpse
Of you, last night.
I recognized you,
For the first time
In a long time…
Felt the longing
And the understanding,
Just enough to leave
The imprint of memory…
A second of warmth
Before waking…

Shivering in cold sweat,
Too early to rise,
With an ache that
Wouldn’t go away…
I drifted back
Into empty darkness
And woke in a fog
Of remembrance…

Please, torture me
Some more.
Let me dream
Of whom I adore,
So, in waking,
This pain,
I can ignore…