Dreams & Delusions…

Archive for December, 2014

Happy New Year 2015!!

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-Unknown

Everyone says they are sad to see the year die,
But, I remember,
The death of each year is an opportunity to fly!
Don’t be held down by past shortcomings,
Remember the promise the future brings…
I refuse to lose hope in the strength of my heart,
I hold on to love, as another year starts…

Happy New Year!
Remember, butterflies would never fly if they were afraid of falling!
Let’s make 2015 awesome!
🎆🎉🎶🍸💜😍🌌
Be safe, no drinking and driving!  😉

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Confused Conflict

Isn’t it odd how we confuse ourselves with our feelings?
How our hearts can be completely illogical, but emphatic…
Even when our brains tell us it’s bullshit.
  
But, really-  Is it?  
When your heart keeps telling you it’s worth it…
Even as you whisper to yourself-
“Fuck it”…
I may be losing my mind- 
…Just a little bit…

~Antanya


Love, from an Old Soul…

Do you remember when you realized?
That moment when our love materialized?
When we forged this eternal link In our souls?
When we became halves from separate wholes?
  
I feel I have known you longer than I’ve been here…  
Talking with you was like blowing dust from old tomes in the library of my memory- 
   
I miss those talks, I always felt more than I could tell you.  
It makes me ache, knowing I may never get to…
I hope you understand, though I don’t know if you do…
There are just no words to express how deeply I love you.

~Antanya


Fire and Smoke

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Burn.
Blaze like a phoenix
igniting the ashes
of a night
burned to oblivion.
We are flames
only extinguished by
doubt and hopelessness
so torch this fear
of what we might be
and burn brightly enough
to douse defeat
in the fires
of what we could be
if we can only
see through smoke.

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Misery

If I lay here still and silent,
Will the pain feel less violent?
If I close my eyes and think of you,
Will my heart make our dream come true?
‘Cause I’m trying my hardest to make it through…
…And when I dream of you, I always do…
When my body is in this state, my thoughts are hard to handle.
Even when I meditate, breathe, and light a candle…
Please,

Bring my dreams back to me,

Let me remember what you mean to me…

Before my soul drowns in this misery…


No Way Out (Sciatica)

Progressive mind in a broken shell
She wonders why she’s in physical Hell                 
Just make it stop, her fraying mind cries,        
She knows its those demons she denies…            
Binding her leg ’til she can’t stand on it,
Lying around makes her feel like shit
She gasps and sobs through pain most could not take,
She longs for sleep, but it keeps her awake  
Slowly tearing apart, from the inside out,
Her heart and soul drown in doubt
The voices keep growling-
“There’s no way out”…

~Antanya


Let it be about Love

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There is no Winter Wonderland where I live,
No white Christmas for me or my menagerie.
There are other wonders that mark these days…
Rain falls outside the window like dropping tinsel,
Home smells like handmade sweets, made with care.
Excitement, happiness, and innocent wonder in my child’s eyes
Reminds me to recognize the things I have that no one can buy.
Fellowship and laughter, warm hugs from family who care,
Even reminiscing, telling stories, missing the ones who can’t be there.
So, on Christmas, let it not be about the things you get, the things you give…
But, let it be about everything you love, everything you dream of…
Merry Christmas! (Eve)

~Antanya

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