Dreams & Delusions…

Archive for January, 2016

Fucked Up

I questioned you,
When I wanted to ask for help…
I didn’t know what to do,
Or how to be myself…

I’m so sorry,
I didn’t understand…
When I pushed you away,
It fucked up more than my hand.

We survived,
Though I can’t say
I’ve thrived,
I had to die
To stay alive…

I feel your soul, shivering-
Do you hear me, whispering?

I have a heart
With strong shutters,
Longing to keep you warm-
But, I can only show the fire,
I can’t pull you from the storm.

~Antanya


Only Words

While you chide me
For having only words-
Do you ever pause
To appreciate
This is my art?
I ache to tell you,
To explain the screams in my heart…
I bleed,
scream,
cry,
Back at the start…
It’s empty to you,
My everything-
Tears me apart.

~Antanya


No Reality

It’s strange,
How I feel uneasy
When you settle into me
So easily…
It’s such a paradox,
I know
There is no reality
When I feel like, “We”.
I can’t help it,
It’s where I long to be…
Close to you,
One with me.

~Antanya


Tea Party

Poe sneered,
“No, that would never do.  Not dark or ambiguous enough.”
Dickinson lamented,
“Your thoughts are poison, immoral and useless to the greater good.”
Hemingway drunkenly laughed and baltered,
“Write yourself to oblivion, you’ll find the meaning someday.”
Osho and Rumi sat in quiet philosophy, too patient to be ruffled.
I wrote in scribbles that carved into the dark wooden table, and wondered what sanity would be like, if I were able…
I’d suddenly had enough.
I flipped the table, spilled the hot tea all over me, and screamed,
“Fuck off!  Leave me be!”
They stared, then laughed at me.
“Now you know, now you see.”

~Antanya


Slight

Light is not the answer.
Dark is not the cancer.
“It is I that I fight.”
Day or Night
Does not define
Wrong or Right…
Forever on the line.
Good is dark,
Evil is light
Gaze is sharp
Smile is slight…

~Antanya


Philosophical Bullshit

Arrogance is Ignorance,
And we are all Narscissisists,
Once our Persistence
Trumps our Innocence.
It’s a beautiful Existence,
Balanced by Resistance.
Love breathes Insistence,
Closeness, in the Distance…

~Antanya


Fenrir

image

http://poledrey.deviantart.com/art/Fenrir-bound-298156366

Eyes-
Blue Fire
Heart-
Bright Pyre
Mind-
Bound Wire
Soul-
Black Desire

Inky imagination
Divulging dreams
In the dark…

Dangerous fascination,
Held in sensual tension.

~Antanya