Dreams & Delusions…

Posts tagged “Understanding

Fuck It (Fuck You)

And today I wonder
How it feels
To say fuck it
And really feel it,
To not be distracted
Or caught up
In the way I have been
Perceived…

I wonder how it feels
To be entitled to
Friendliness and
Openly offended when
This is not the case…

I wonder how it feels
To have the audacity
To demand this from people
Without knowing their stories…
What makes you think it’s okay,
To ruin my morning with your assumptions
And cruelty?

And today I wonder
How it feels
To say fuck it
And really feel it,
To not be distracted
Or caught up
In the way I have been
Perceived…

~Antanya

Today I had a stranger corner me about my every day behavior, and had to explain my anxiety to them, because she felt like I owed her something. I spent the next hour and a half crying… I wish people could be more understanding, you never know how what you say will affect someone else, or what others are going through. Why couldn’t she just accept a simple “good morning”? I wish it would have been one.


To Be…

When I dare to delve
In another’s mind
The same putrid perfectionism
that crushes me
Is all I find…
How would it feel,
To be accepted for me?
To be understood for real?
I can’t help but wonder,
As I grasp for what isn’t there,
As this lack pulls me under…

~Antanya


You Understand?

Yeah, it’s me
It’s you, too.
I don’t know
Why you act like someone else,
When all I want is you.
You tell me you understand,
I can’t help but doubt,
When you won’t touch my hand,
Or even hear me out…

~Antanya