Dreams & Delusions…

Posts tagged “Attachment

The Silence

I miss⁣
The silence⁣
Between our⁣
Nervous words,⁣
The safety⁣
In the rhythm⁣
Of your breath,⁣
The longing to⁣
Reach out,⁣
Reach you…⁣
Before the⁣
Uncertainty ⁣
Murdered⁣
The moment,⁣
When the connection⁣
Was almost enough…⁣
I miss⁣
The silence…⁣


Wonder

The weight of your gravity

Feels immense and ancient,

Like we have danced for ages,

As the stars in the constellations

Swirled and orbited

In the same timeless patterns.

My heart is forever bound

To this ancestral longing,
A glimpse of you stirs my spirit

Into mysterious discovery-

The wonder is the muse.

~Antanya


Understanding

Anxiety became bearable

The moment I understood

What it was,

And where it came from.

I have always had an awkward

Sense of loneliness,

Even while around those

I love,

Who love me genuinely…

I’m not sure

If the loneliness is from being Misunderstood,

Or if I just don’t fit

With other humans…

And maybe it’s why

I have such a hard time

With letting go…

You met me in this space,

Gave my loneliness

A beautiful name,

Made a safe place

To lay out our mess,

Softened through the rain…

~Antanya


Every Time

I’m back trying to heal,

Divining the fiction

From the real,

And every time I delve

Into myself,

I find you,

A little deeper,

Closer,

Yet further

Away…

~Antanya


Fuck my Loneliness

How can I be so attached
To what I’ve never had?
The spirals of questions,
Unanswered
Surely driving me mad…
Tease me
With what I need,
Then leave me
Crawling, begging, grieving
My own greed…
Why engage these games?
When we both
Whisper each other’s names…
Do we?  Do you?…
I don’t even know
If this makes sense to you…
So, I keep it to myself
Because I’m not sure
You can help…
Even though
My dreams of you
Always do…

~Antanya