Dreams & Delusions…

Latest

A Real Difference

Right wing extremists
Are so stuck in their narrative,
They are tone-deaf to the collective.
Left wing extremists
Have forsaken their boundaries,
They are easy prey to the Universe.
Listen.
Connect.
Have boundaries.
Give a fuck.
Make a real difference.

Mute

The ache⁣
Steals the words⁣
From my tongue,⁣
The pain⁣
Scrapes the memories⁣
Through my brain…⁣
How do you speak⁣
So easily,⁣
Why do I fall silent ⁣
When my heart screams?

Start Softly

Hold me,⠀
I will hold you back,⠀
Lay with me⠀
And whisper all of those secrets⠀
We don’t share with anyone else…⠀
I need to be vulnerable⠀
And know that I am safe⠀
Before I can let you in…⠀
Once we have shared enough,⠀
We can let the real fun begin.⠀

~Antanya

Grief

I read somewhere,⠀
“Grief is love with nowhere to go”.⠀
Today I am full of a love⠀
Not for myself,⠀
That does not include direction,⠀
Only memories…⠀
And I cannot help but think⠀
I am grief.⠀

~Antanya

Abyss

My heart still reaches
For you- in the dark…
Mind remembers,
The burn- after the spark…

Emptiness does not
Speak to me,
Your substance
Must become
My sustenance.

Want is nothing,
Without the love.
I see you wanting,
But it’s not enough…

~Antanya

Solace

Seeking Solitude
Soothing Song
Of Sirens
Screaming
Me to Sleep
Salacious Storms
Sliding between
Seductive Speculations
Surreal and Sublime
Solace of Serendipity

Healing

The darkness within
Shatters,
The light suffuses
The fissures,
Broken open
To adhere
Pieces of identity,
Intertwined and integral-
Kintsugi of the mind.

~Antanya

Stoic Storm

Breathe,
Don’t react,
Just breathe…
Don’t scream
Or struggle,
Or he won’t stop.
Let him get bored…
Be boring,
Stoic.
Breathe,
Don’t react,
Just breathe…
Don’t say how
You feel
Or he will
Scream again,
Don’t communicate
So you can have
Peace.
Breathe,
Don’t react,
Just breathe…
You can’t change
The choices she makes,
Tell her you’re worried,
But not where he can hear…
Breathe,
Don’t react,
Just breathe…
He will think
You’re weak,
So just take it,
It will be over soon.
He will say it was
Nothing.
Breathe,
Don’t react,
Just breathe…
And sometimes,
You remember
Harsh voices,
Unwanted hands,
Threats and violence.
Breathe,
Don’t react,
Just breathe…
And you scrape
Your pieces into a pile,
Breathe…
Pick them up
And hold them to your chest…
Breathe…
Mourn for the girl
Who used to be,
The one who hides
Within you still…
Breathe…
Love,
Heal,
Remember,
And Breathe…
Don’t react,
Just breathe…

~Antanya

Bloom

We have been
Singed with frost,
Soaked in rain,
Shredded by wind,
Yet we still remain.
Standing tall,
Unwavering…
Tending the roots,
Pruning back the
Dead wood,
Culling and cultivating,
Until Spring reminds us
To Bloom.

~Antanya

Free With You

I have learned
My addiction
Is to the belonging,
The space you held
Me,
For me,
With me.
Our imaginary escape,
Real within our hearts,
Kept us alive,
Though we both felt
Like death.
I am grateful.
I am hurting.
I am loving.
I am lost.
Again-
And again.
I just want to
Be free,
With you.

~Antanya