Dreams & Delusions…

Fuck It (Fuck You)

And today I wonder
How it feels
To say fuck it
And really feel it,
To not be distracted
Or caught up
In the way I have been
Perceived…

I wonder how it feels
To be entitled to
Friendliness and
Openly offended when
This is not the case…

I wonder how it feels
To have the audacity
To demand this from people
Without knowing their stories…
What makes you think it’s okay,
To ruin my morning with your assumptions
And cruelty?

And today I wonder
How it feels
To say fuck it
And really feel it,
To not be distracted
Or caught up
In the way I have been
Perceived…

~Antanya

Today I had a stranger corner me about my every day behavior, and had to explain my anxiety to them, because she felt like I owed her something. I spent the next hour and a half crying… I wish people could be more understanding, you never know how what you say will affect someone else, or what others are going through. Why couldn’t she just accept a simple “good morning”? I wish it would have been one.

2 responses

  1. Sorry you had to go through that… In a way I think one of the advantages of being aloof / socially awkward or unconscious (as I am) is that we often don’t pick up on the offence others take, because we’re really not meaning any offence.
    Don’t know if that relates to your case at all, but it came to mind when reading this. May tomorrow be way better 🙃.

    January 23, 2020 at 12:25 pm

    • Yeah, honestly I was trying to give her some space. I don’t always want to be talked to. So, I offended her by trying not to. Lol. Thank you.

      January 23, 2020 at 12:44 pm

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