The Opposite of Cheer
I believe in love and fulfillment,
The gratitude in paying it forward.
Is a direction I try to move toward.
So, why, in my efforts (there are many)
Do I always fall so fucking short?
When I feel like I can help,
Like I can give you something…
My fortitude crumbles, my feet fumble,
I weep as I am left with nothing.
It’s not emptiness that kills me,
But the longing to be generous,
To give to you until I don’t feel empty.
I feel sorry and unworthy,
Keep your attention far from me.
Because saying thank you is not enough
For them, for you, for us…
Merry fucking Christmas.