Dreams & Delusions…

Moments of Lucidity

I haven’t been breaking…
(Just breaking out)
I’ve never been faking…
(Just feeling doubt)
I’m afraid, you see…
(Scared you’re not real)
Love is calling me…
(Scared I can’t feel)
I’ve been locked…
(Trying to survive)
Feeling blocked…
(Not sure I’m alive)

I thought I could just block out
The love, the longing, and the doubt
But then I realized
That I was keeping myself from feeling alive
Dying for the need to survive
Sacrificing my identity
To care for everyone around me
But the thought of you awakens me
…And I’m tired of blocking you out
In these moments of lucidity
All I want is you to tell me…
Why won’t you tell me?
Tell me to fuck off
Tell me to stay
Tell me what you want…
Because I can’t let go
…Not until I know…

~Antanya

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7 responses

  1. This is exceptionally musical 🙂

    August 27, 2014 at 4:40 pm

    • Thank you!
      Sometimes my poems come out more like songs, and sometimes I do hear music when writing…
      I’m far too anxious to record anything, though. 😉

      August 27, 2014 at 4:44 pm

  2. Oh, you should… I’m finding it exhilarating now that I’m doing it. Hard to get away from my southern drawl though, but it adds some texture to the voicing of the poems… you should do it!

    August 27, 2014 at 5:32 pm

    • I don’t think I can… It is what it is.

      August 28, 2014 at 2:43 pm

      • Oh, ok… well, still a nice read, for sure… maybe someday! 🙂

        August 28, 2014 at 2:54 pm

  3. It does feel very musical – love it 🙂

    August 28, 2014 at 6:21 pm

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